Session Three: Know Whos You Are

Hi loves, how are you?

Session three was nice, we had some lovely M&S biscuits and we had some new people in the room which made me really happy! One who had only just started to believe in God 2 weeks ago, purely because of the conversation her and I had during in one of the lessons I was leading - LOOK AT GOD! Do you see the way he’s moving darlings - it excites me. 

We started by reminding ourselves that Proverbs is the playbook for us. It’s the blueprint for how we live as women in every capacity of our lives. Not who we are as a mum, a wife, a CEO, a sister, or any title we carry, but who we are at our core, when all of that is stripped away. Because if you don’t know who you are without a title, life will always feel unstable.

Scripture One: Proverbs 13:20 (KJV)

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

We broke this right down.

Before you can choose the right people around you, you first need to know who you are. And the truth is, very few people know that straight away. As we grow and seasons change, so do versions of us. Our upbringing, culture, religion, geography, class, and experiences all shape us in different ways.

I shared a story from school about a friend who grew up very wealthy. One day after school she came to my house for dinner (we lived on a normal council estate). My mum asked us to help her in the Kitchen. My mum handed her a tin opener and asked her to open the can, she stood there and had no clue how to use it - I was shocked.  I remember being like “babe are you ok there?”. We came to realise that she had never been taught.  Her parents did everything for her. And here’s the lesson, her parents didn’t show or teach her and thats not her fault, but God shows and teaches us. 

And this is where Proverbs comes in.

Lesson one: life skills and wisdom need to be taught early because they shape character and survival. Proverbs does exactly that for us as women. It teaches us how to live wisely in the way God created us to be. This isn’t about forcing something unnatural. This is genuinely who we are meant to be. A blueprint that moulds and shapes our character.

We talked honestly about how disciplined we are in work, education, and business. We follow rules, processes, and systems and get mentors to be excellent, so my question was, How intentional are we being with our spiritual life?

Are we making real, consistent progress? Are we building systems for our walk with God? And is what we’re doing now a good example of what we’d want our children to see and follow?

Lesson Two: Identity by Association 

Lesson two took us deeper and made us check ourselves, and to be honest darlings, this is something I’ve had to check myself on a few times over the years. 

The word walketh in Scripture doesn’t mean a one off random interactions. It means how you live, who you do life with, who and what has access to you, and who and what influences your thinking, decisions, and direction. Now, when I say what as well as who I mean things like social media. Myself and one of the other ladies have said that lately we felt convicted a social media because we’ve been scrolling quite a lot and we justified it by saying while we’re watching Christian things so it’s okay. Again we’ve had to check ourselves and come off it. I’m currently on a 2 week social media ban, and it’s making me feel a bit uneasy because i use it for business - but it’s something I’ve got to do. Anyway back to the point…

Who you walk with shapes who you become.

We talked about how important it is to surround yourself with wise people, not just in one area of life, but across the board. Friends, family, mentors. Wise doesn’t look the same to everyone, but wisdom always produces growth.

Heres an example. If you’re ambitious, love learning, invest in personal growth, limit social media, and are intentional about bettering yourself, but the people around you are happy to stay stagnant, scroll endlessly, and gossip, what kind of conversations are you really going to have? Is that sharpening you? Or draining you?

This led us into the topic of being equally yoked, not just romantically, but in friendships, environments, and influence.

We spoke about access, not everyone needs full access to you. This isn’t about judgement, It’s about discernment. Some people belong in your inner circle, some in outer circles, some need distance and some just need to get gone (sorry I’m to the point). That doesn’t have to be nasty but it does have to be intentional. You must be whole heartedly intentional about your life. 

If God is growing you, your circle will change. Now take this from me, this can feel uncomfortable. You might feel rejected, but it’s not rejection, it’s redirection and realignment. It’s not the nicest to go through but it’s needed. 

When Scripture talks about foolish companions being destroyed, it’s not always dramatic. It’s about positioning.

Destruction often looks like:

• Delayed growth and stagnation

• Compromised standards

• Confusion about identity

• Repeating cycles

• Becoming someone you don’t recognise

We reflected on where God is currently positioning us and what He might be doing beneath the surface. Again, you have to know who you are and who’s you are so you can determine who and what has access to you.

Scripture Two: Proverbs 19:23 (KJV)

“The fear of the Lord tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied.”

This led us into identity, maturity, and satisfaction.

We reframed the fear of the Lord. This is not being scared of God. Fear in the Bible is orientation (which is your intentional alignment of your heart and mind towards God and his purpose). Who your life is centred around?

Biblical fear means reverence, but not casual reverence. It’s deep respect that changes behaviour. If you truly fear God, you don’t just believe in Him, you let Him lead. You follow His instruction and you submit to his ways. It can be hard especially if you’re someone who has not been on a journey with God your whole life and now you’re learning, but trust him - he’s got you.

Once you know better, you’re called to do better. And that can be uncomfortable.

I shared a personal example of going to a gala type event over Christmas and feeling completely out of place. The music, the atmosphere, the behaviour. I felt convicted, i lasted just over an hour and i was out of there. My friends were shocked but I didn’t care. I realised that version of me had died. God didn’t change the people there. He changed me. And I had to honour that, i tell you what, i was repenting all the way home!! 

As we grow in God, we become more discerning. What we often call “energy” is spiritual influence. Peace or unease is information. And when something no longer aligns, you won’t settle. That’s the fear of the Lord working in you.

Fear of the Lord doesn’t make you boring even though some may say it (why do these people have access to you 👀). It makes you aware, and that is a powerful place to be. It doesn’t isolate you, It separates you for protection, until you find your people. It preserves you, and thats for Gods best! Biblical fear says,  Even if no one sees, I still choose God.

This is where everything came together.

You cannot truly know who you are if you don’t know who’s you are. Identity is shaped by authority and influence. When God isn’t at the centre, identity becomes unstable.

The fear of the Lord brings order in your life, and when God is honoured, all the noise goes quiet, your decisions become clearer and you just find peace! 

I shared that leading this group is far outside my comfort zone and scares me a bit, and i may or may not ask God 25345367 times a week if He’s sure he wants me to do this - it’s definitely a yes lol. My point being even though im uncomfortable doing it, weirdly I feel peace because I’m being obedient. And that peace matters more to me than knowing everything.

That’s why Scripture says we abide in satisfaction. Satisfaction isn’t having everything or doing everything we want. It’s knowing we’re aligned with God, even when you feel weird and life isn’t perfect.

Before we wrap up, there is one thing to remember, children don’t learn the fear of the Lord from rules. They learn it from what they see us do. Remember their little eyes and ears are capturing everything, so make sure you’re showing them who God is and whose they are.  

Make sure your personality is what God formed, not what you built to survive. God knew you before you were formed. Our job is to discover and apply that, not follow what society calls normal.

This session reminded us that knowing who you are starts with knowing who God is, and from there everything else finds its place.

Thats all from the boardroom today. 

See you at the next meeting. 

Love always, 

Hannah-Curlita xx